For those over-analytical ladies, like myself: here's a really honest article about dating, its rules and consequences, possible heartaches and all.
"The important part is facing that this pain is a possibility, and making yourself hear what is so. Not what you want to be so, not what romantic comedies say will be so, but what is actually so. He or she does not wish to continue seeing you, and the possibility for that relationship is now gone. Which sucks, but it doesn't MEAN anything (remember that nasty "meaning" trick we're all so good at?). If this guy doesn't fall-down adore you, it MEANS NOTHING about your status as a worthy and valuable human being. It also means nothing about your ability to find partnership in the future. Likewise, if a guy rejects you, it doesn't MEAN anything about men in general. All it means is that this one was a douchebag. And that you found out early enough to recover, pick yourself up, and get back to work." The rest HERE:
----http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-lafsky/the-5-truths-about-dating_b_906508.html
And also, for those who love The Strokes as much as I do. Free Strokes covers and downloads! HERE:
----http://stereogum.com/767531/stroked-tribute-to-is-this-it/mp3s/
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Get ready, it's a long one.
Hello, all.
I haven't written in a while, and I think it's because what's been weighing on my mind the most is what I don't want to talk about. I feel a heavy sadness. Graham doesn't understand how much he's hurt me, and has never fully apologized to me for it. I also deserve to give him a fat, "I told you so."
Here's the story:
Forever, I have felt as if there were three people in my and Graham's relationship. He and I, and this fugly chick named Mollie. They're old friends from high school, had an itsy-bitsy romance, she even used to be my friend, and well,...she texts him constantly. She sent an especially flirtatious message on New Year's Eve, saying,
"Where are you, little boy?"
To which he replied, in an equally flirtatious way, "Two Stick, little girl."
Nice. See blog entry: Crappy New Years! And if you read that entry, you'll see that I've tried so hard to give this girl the benefit of a doubt, put the issue to bed, be mature, and get the fuck over it.
I've always had my suspicions about this back-stabbing bee-yotch. When Graham and I FIRST began dating, she'd eye him at the bar and waddle her fat-ass up to him, and say:
"Hey stranger, where have YOU been?" in an unmistakably accusing tone.
And noooooo, my friends, he would never say something like, "Just hanging out with my GIRLFRIEND. I'll repeat it one more time: MY GIRLFRIEND. Speaking of MY GIRLFRIEND, she isn't that comfortable with you texting me all the time. You understand, right? It's a little inappropriate." That's TOO easy. Instead he's gonna let it continue for some reason. Maybe his ego? Maybe he's insecure just like Mollie and needs female reassurance? Maybe he's attracted to ugly girls.
Also: Why would a single gal incessantly text a guy who's taken? Even if that guy is your BEST friend (which she isn't, they just get drunk together), as a woman, you have to accept that a girlfriend comes first. The girlfriend is now the best friend. Sorry, that's just the web of life.
I only recently found THIS out, a few months ago, she finally came clean to Graham about her feelings for him. Over drunk text, of course. What a stupid bitch. And he gently turned her down, but he still continues to hang out with her. How pathetic and desperate is that. Like, literally, she is most unoriginal person I've ever met. The fact that Graham is friends with her forces me to question his intellect. She has maybe three areas of interest.
She's friends with my friend Ali. And here's a conversation after the bars closed:
MOLLIE: Hey, Ali. Call Jay Lang and see what he's doing.
(Ali calls)
ALI: He didn't answer. I guess he's with his GIRLFRIEND tonight.
MOLLIE: Oh, well. I guess I'll just go home then.
What a stupid girl. Her only objective in life is to hold on to a guy's attention long enough to get a ring on her finger. And it's sad to me that she uses Graham to make her life seem less sad and completely vapid.
Anyway, now that you have an idea of her lack of personality, I'll get to the issue. I have been so, so, SO honest, voiced so many, many times my insecurities. It's been going on for a YEAR now. It's continued so much longer than I should have allowed. They go drinking, she comes to his bar, she laughs too loud and requires makeup to be pretty. So, he hangs out with her despite all of my deepest wishes. Oh and this was all BEHIND MY BACK. I feel so disrespected and hurt. How do I continue a relationship with someone who is so careless with my feelings? Do you think this is a character flaw in Graham? Does he think can treat me in this egregious way. I'm tired of wasting my energy with this. So, I'm giving it one FINAL consideration. I told Graham that I need a few days to think. What's your opinion? I may be crazy, Graham certainly thinks so. Is this whole terrible and ongoing situation a deal-breaker? Can a man change? Is this emotional cheating?
thanks, have a goodly day.
I haven't written in a while, and I think it's because what's been weighing on my mind the most is what I don't want to talk about. I feel a heavy sadness. Graham doesn't understand how much he's hurt me, and has never fully apologized to me for it. I also deserve to give him a fat, "I told you so."
Here's the story:
Forever, I have felt as if there were three people in my and Graham's relationship. He and I, and this fugly chick named Mollie. They're old friends from high school, had an itsy-bitsy romance, she even used to be my friend, and well,...she texts him constantly. She sent an especially flirtatious message on New Year's Eve, saying,
"Where are you, little boy?"
To which he replied, in an equally flirtatious way, "Two Stick, little girl."
Nice. See blog entry: Crappy New Years! And if you read that entry, you'll see that I've tried so hard to give this girl the benefit of a doubt, put the issue to bed, be mature, and get the fuck over it.
I've always had my suspicions about this back-stabbing bee-yotch. When Graham and I FIRST began dating, she'd eye him at the bar and waddle her fat-ass up to him, and say:
"Hey stranger, where have YOU been?" in an unmistakably accusing tone.
And noooooo, my friends, he would never say something like, "Just hanging out with my GIRLFRIEND. I'll repeat it one more time: MY GIRLFRIEND. Speaking of MY GIRLFRIEND, she isn't that comfortable with you texting me all the time. You understand, right? It's a little inappropriate." That's TOO easy. Instead he's gonna let it continue for some reason. Maybe his ego? Maybe he's insecure just like Mollie and needs female reassurance? Maybe he's attracted to ugly girls.
Also: Why would a single gal incessantly text a guy who's taken? Even if that guy is your BEST friend (which she isn't, they just get drunk together), as a woman, you have to accept that a girlfriend comes first. The girlfriend is now the best friend. Sorry, that's just the web of life.
I only recently found THIS out, a few months ago, she finally came clean to Graham about her feelings for him. Over drunk text, of course. What a stupid bitch. And he gently turned her down, but he still continues to hang out with her. How pathetic and desperate is that. Like, literally, she is most unoriginal person I've ever met. The fact that Graham is friends with her forces me to question his intellect. She has maybe three areas of interest.
She's friends with my friend Ali. And here's a conversation after the bars closed:
MOLLIE: Hey, Ali. Call Jay Lang and see what he's doing.
(Ali calls)
ALI: He didn't answer. I guess he's with his GIRLFRIEND tonight.
MOLLIE: Oh, well. I guess I'll just go home then.
What a stupid girl. Her only objective in life is to hold on to a guy's attention long enough to get a ring on her finger. And it's sad to me that she uses Graham to make her life seem less sad and completely vapid.
Anyway, now that you have an idea of her lack of personality, I'll get to the issue. I have been so, so, SO honest, voiced so many, many times my insecurities. It's been going on for a YEAR now. It's continued so much longer than I should have allowed. They go drinking, she comes to his bar, she laughs too loud and requires makeup to be pretty. So, he hangs out with her despite all of my deepest wishes. Oh and this was all BEHIND MY BACK. I feel so disrespected and hurt. How do I continue a relationship with someone who is so careless with my feelings? Do you think this is a character flaw in Graham? Does he think can treat me in this egregious way. I'm tired of wasting my energy with this. So, I'm giving it one FINAL consideration. I told Graham that I need a few days to think. What's your opinion? I may be crazy, Graham certainly thinks so. Is this whole terrible and ongoing situation a deal-breaker? Can a man change? Is this emotional cheating?
thanks, have a goodly day.
Friday, July 8, 2011
get me outta here.
It's ridic how I'm skimming the Net, searching voraciously for any and all opportunities to get me out of this town. To live, to thrive, to go on a personal journey and explore. Since Iowa, I've begun to ponder,...what the HELL else is out there? If I thought Iowa was gonna be a giant crop-circle, maybe I should just take a vacay to frickin' West Virginia or Arkansas. I've applied to be at the Front Desk of the Hilton Hotel monster in Miami and Orlando, but maybe they'll send me to some remote resort in Hawaii. I've just registered for AmeriCorps, hoping they can direct me to the farthest stewpot kitchen available. RedCross will be next. Also, I can be a flight attendant. You know, after I take this test and finish up applying to graduate school, I have a year of waiting for the results. I'm sick of waiting. I can't rely on someone to whisk me away from Jackson, I gotta...whisk myself? Wish me luck, all.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Iowa wedding
I can honestly say that I loved Iowa City! It was a great, long weekend. I felt like I was there for weeks, instead of just three days and nights. The wedding was small, sheets of grey tool (called silver) hung on the bleak walls of the reception venue/storage facility. And Megan was finally married, after a long walk, by the side of a highway. It was wonderful. Their wedding so much reflected the couple's personalities: relaxed and serene and "who gives a fuck, we love each other; let's get married (after six months of dating)!" Brad (Megan's now-husband) proposed in a soft, southern whisper, late one night in the bed they shared. And its been a magical whirlwind ever since. Brad deserted his born-and-bred Mississippi, his family, his loved dog Cocoa, and followed corn-bred Megan to Iowa. What love! There were stars, my friends, great, shooting stars that fell over the cornfields, as we danced, drank, ate, and celebrated.
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