For sure, this is not my favorite birthday. Not exactly joyFULL. But I'm thankful that I have it. There's tragedy and war everywhere, so let's do our best to celebrate those brief moments of happiness. And then let them go. No feelings are forever. We can't hold on forever. We are fleeting, all of us. And that's life running its course. Similar to us, life has no choice but to move forward.
We all carry our pockets of pain. By my age, you've usually lost someone important and you've been forced to learn hard lessons. But again, life is going on everywhere. Everyone carries something. I guess that's why I've been enjoying a bit of Buddhism lately- the idea of not holding such a tight grasp on anything. Prayer and meditation. Allowing the sands of the mandala to wash away from you. Despite our best efforts and toil, the mandala will always be washed away because nothing is ever permanent.
Christianity advises to go to God like a child, with openness and genuine curiosity. Asking questions and absorbing the stories. Buddhism advises to greet life like an empty vessel, waiting to be filled. You must empty out and rest, in order to be filled again. Either way, we aren't meant to know anything. We are only meant to experience and then rest. To understand pain, one must experience pain. To understand life, one must experience life, in all of its messy glories. It's risky because it's not all rainbows and balloons. Not every birthday is going to be rainbows and balloons. Who knows, maybe next year, I'll have that rainbow. Anyways, have a nice day and weekend.
