I feel like me and graham's relationship has the lifespan of one month. I'm totally fine, everything's going gooood, and then BOOM. Something happens that triggers a meltdown. It usually coincides with my period and involves a dash of alcohol. I've been trying so hard and doing so well with my communicating, as I mentioned on sunday, I've actually felt proud of myself the last couple of weeks. Like, for once, I was the model of the perfect girlfriend.

however, one too many Peroni's, and it goes to shit. but after all my hard work and model perfection, i'm not sure if this one is completely my fault or whether i should look into as something more...bigger...relationship ending. how does a person know when to leave a relationship? i've considered the pro/con list, i've looked at a website that listed the ingredients to an unhealthy relationship, but, at the same time...this is me and graham. i feel like our situation is more complex and layered than what can be summated on a list.

i'm dragging today. i feel a heavy hangover, as always, and i'm not sure what to do in my relationship. i love the kid, but are my needs being met? i've never thought about it before now. i'm so used to surrendering to the blame, that i often forget that graham is not always perfect either. and in this particular situation, he needed to fulfill my one communication need. just simply respond. make me feel important to you. I've done everything right this week. but he came up short, and i'm not happy with that. it's unacceptable when i've been trying so hard.